Opposition
Nov 24th, 2009 3:24 pm

They still need to learn and still more I feel I have to teach, or at the very least tell them, father. To hear my words last night, you would have laughed at me, because... they were your words to me when I was young. Why is it now of all times your words keep resounding more and more clearly than ever before?

It's true, though, it doesn't matter any more, it never did. It seems the young Brujah are having a go at the young ones of the pack here. I will not go out of my way to defend them unless it appears to weaken the pack, for now it seems it may make them stronger. But in other cases it appears they may be weakening themselves not drawing their claws, while factoring we tend to be overpowered by the Brujah's immense speed and strength.

Though, I explained to them our gift of Fortitude is a flimsy defense to rely upon as you taught me decades ago; and that while the 6th is troublesome, it is only a violation if we kill them, there is no violation for nearly killing them and we are free to claim limbs at leisure. Our greatest defense is our offense, which is our claws and the fear Cainites have of them. Those who hold no fear of them either never experienced them or forgotten about them - it is often best to grant them the experience and reminder.

Hm. I may wish to claim a trophy or two for next Moot. Brujah limbs make good trophies aside from fangs of the Sabbat I have collected over the years during my wanderings. We will see just how overzealous some of the young Brujah become.

Even more disturbing... like you, father, I am finding at times I grow eager to sink my claws into flesh. Thankfully, I can manage to calm myself better than you.

The things I hear of the Anarchs grow tiresome and tedious. Continued whining and bitching, but no sense of self-reliance with the exception of perhaps the local Anarch Gangrel who tends to be on his own, not uncommon to our ilk. It is only an exclamation to me why our kind are not often of their "cause".

Though, lately when I truly dwell on it, hypothetically should the Gangrel separate from the Camarilla tomorrow, I am not entirely certain what I would do. Stay with the Camarilla or turn to the Sabbat or become Autakis with the rest? I suppose, my first inclination would be to turn to your guidance, father...


Tuesday, November the 24th
The year of Our Lord, 2009

Aedia Fox

Father
Nov 15th, 2009 4:17 pm

Where are you? I hid my tracks well enough from you, but now when I try to hunt you, you hid your tracks from me even better. I need to see you again, where did you go? Where are you hiding? Why didn't you come here?

I miss you.

Is that odd? My blood ripples within my veins with your every word, they are both a comfort and nightmare. Why is it I only find myself agreeing with you more than arguing against you. You make too much sense. Perhaps I am turning into being more like you than I initially feared.

It is a funny contradiction to me, I need to find you again, but at the same time I know I'm not ready, yet. This pack is young, and I still need to lend what aid I can to it.

It is strange, though, these nights I no longer feel any ill will toward you for damning my soul.

I hope we can have a chance to talk again, father.



Sunday, November the 15th
The year of Our Lord, 2009

~ Aedia Fox

Idealism
Sep 15th, 2009 7:12 pm

This pack is the youngest I have ever been apart of, it seems I'm the oldest this time - for now. Which is an odd place to be, I never been in such a situation before. It seems Cartwright tried to show them our family's ways, but ran out of time preventing him from showing them the direction in which we, Outlanders, must roam.

The perspective I keep getting is they are fighting an evil, or a great corruption. It's a terrible misconception, trying to fight an ideology as though it is an evil is the wrong mindset to have. To believe that the Sabbat are an evil to be destroyed or purged, we may as well destroy ourselves as well. We are the ones who conceal our nature, they are the ones who openly flaunt it. It's truly that black and white. It is the only line that divides us as far as good and evil. We are both evil, what they are - we are as well. Our only differences from that point is ideology.

We are all parasitic creatures of the night who drain the blood of the living, we even kill them out of bloodlust, as well as from time to time even those we may call ally, friend, and family. None of us have the right to call ourselves "the good guys". Those who have the gall to idealize themselves with such a label are nothing shy of blind, arrogant, self-righteous, self-absorbed fools. There is only evil and slightly less evil in this conflict.

The understanding for becoming strong for fighting for survival amongst the pack seems to be misunderstood as well. Our understanding for survival is not like other clans. It even boils down to why we, Outlanders, are largely of the Camarilla is a perfect explanation of it. The path of least resistance. We don't have to bother with politics, we can leave that waste of time and energy to the Patricians who backstab each other nightly. Besides, those idiotic politics seldom ever clash where we roam.

Why not the Anarchs? Given how the Elders still vividly recall the First Anarch Revolt, they look for any excuse to crush an Anarch. There is no survival for the blood in their broken movement. The Sabbat? They actually hold some merits, but their allowing their Beasts to rule them rather than they ruling their Beast is a deal breaker. Besides, defiling another Cainite's soul by devouring it not just their enemies, but allies too...? Disgraceful... Drinking down ones own blood - revolting. There is no survival for the blood following that path. Autarkis... Independent? An appealing thought, but not now, as an Autarkis you are easily everyone's target. Becoming everyone's prey minimizes survival. By process of elimination that leaves only the Camarilla lending us the path of least resistance to allow us to do as we please without risking the blood dying away. As long as one does not betray or harm the Clan with their ideology, it doesn't really matter.

We are not blind zealots of a cause, we do not have the Brujah's passion. While their Beast is at their forefront, because of our Clan's weakness we must keep ours suppressed and chained. Lest we allow it show on our visage. The Brujah maybe our closest "allies", we're better off severing our ties directly after our mutual tasks our completed - being drawn into their Beast's passion only causes our blood problems. While a fervent Brujah may see running from battle that equates certain death as cowardice, for us - it simply boils down to survival. A wolf will not risk their life just to kill their prey - there are other hunts and other targets. Nor will a wolf risk the entire pack just to save one - that eliminates survival for the pack as a whole.

Heroism and risking everything is idealism, not survival. We become stronger to survive. Not become stronger to idealistically think we can become unstoppable. Zealots and heroes think that way out of idealism for a cause, and all they earn themselves is a patch ground to lay in when they die.

The three worst things for any Gangrel is political idealism, prideful self-entitlement, and political ambition. I pray that this pack is not mired and consumed with as much of those things as I have been given the impression of, otherwise I fear greatly for this pack.



Tuesday, September the 15th
The year of Our Lord, 2009

~ Aedia Fox