Coward.
Jul 29th, 2010 1:42 am

as the time gets nearer, I feel less and less like me. more just empty, eaten out, broken vessel of someone who is not here anymore.

I guess I can't stop hoping. I have the means, and I have some of the will to end this void, before things even settle, really. there is no me left in this numb pain. what if -I- make the wrong thing, what if -I- mess up? maybe I should not go there... then again - what if I have to protect him?

I don't know what to do!

I said I would survive him. but I think I will not.

in a way, I already desire to see the dawn. I have nothing left. I am tired.